There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
