it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
