another moral hangover. fuck.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
