well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
