I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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