i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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