dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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