Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
