the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
