WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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