u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize