ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
