i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
