He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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