So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
