i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
