Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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