Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
and you fell through a lawn chair
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
