you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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