i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
