yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
