Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
