You just made me feel so damn special
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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