I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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