Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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