drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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