Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
