This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
