Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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