Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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