So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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