yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he thought i was a dude.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
