for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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