how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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