every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
