No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
