Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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