i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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