And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You don't make any sense
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