he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
