I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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