Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
