Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
