I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
