I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
