Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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