i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
