Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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