Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
