I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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