if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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