Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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