I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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