You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
