Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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