It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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