they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
