Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
