Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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