She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
