update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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