dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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