you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
