What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
