I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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