i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
