I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
